Will She Ever Come Back?
by MrsLovettMalfoy
Summary: After the Swan-Mills family breaks apart, breaking the hearts of Emma and Regina, tragedy strikes close to home. How do you live up to your destiny when it involves the person who broke your heart? But is losing your heart worth saving what matters most to you? And is it worth dying for?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Hello all! This is my very first Swan Queen fic so please forgive me if it sucks. I got the idea when I saw a gif of Lana crying (link here: . /tumblr_md51c42CcL1qigp27o1_ ) and I just knew I had to make a fan fiction out of it. I am going to attempt to make this a multiple chapter fic and hopefully I can finish it. Please Review I would love any comments you have about it! I own nothing! **

Chapter 1

Regina felt like she could hear the sound her heart thumping too fast, almost like it was going to suddenly shatter. It honestly wouldn't surprise her if it did shatter, it already felt broken. Her once black heart had been gifted with bright crimson color once more when the blonde heroine seemed to save her like she did everyone else in Storybrooke. She sometimes couldn't remember why she had once hated the younger woman, those moments usually were forgotten when she would see her smile or heard her laugh. Regina had lost everything in her life over and over again but Emma was the one thing she thought was never going to go away, even Henry was almost a ghost in her memory more than he was anything else.

The young boy was far from her mind now though. As the quick and pained beat of her heart matched with the steady yet quick beats of water against her skin. She sat in the bottom of the shower, water coating her skin. She had turned it on hot as far as it would go, hoping the scalding pain of the water would momentarily make her forget the pure hell her heart was living in; but even that couldn't help. She lifted her head up off her knees where she had been crying for longer than she cared to admit. She put her hands over her eyes as her ragged breaths grew shorter and she pushed her wet hair away from her face.

She isn't coming back. Emma is never coming back. Those eyes that were forever in a dance of ocean blue and mossy green flashed behind her own blurry vision and made her shut her eyes, as if just seeing a ghost. She opened them again, a vision of that pale face before her. Golden curls bouncing around features as a smile grew on her face. 'No crying Regina. Not while we have each other' she heard in her head. As tears fell from her blood shot eyes again, the vision before her of the younger woman seemed to melt away. "Emma! Come back!" she screamed. But before the last word could leave her mouth, the hallucination was out of sight, just like the real Emma.

They had slipped back into their old ways, always fighting and the screaming never stopped. It lead to nights spent sleeping apart, Emma working late on purpose and Regina going into work too early to be noticed by Emma or their son. She regretted all of that the morning she woke up to find Emma not in the bed or on the couch. She thought maybe she had gone to work early but remembered that even when they fought Emma wasn't a morning person. She remembered how she felt a nagging pain in her chest as she went upstairs and looked in their room. Something wasn't right. She saw a picture of Henry missing from the wall, Emma's toothbrush gone from the bathroom, and some of her clothes missing from the closet. And it was when she saw a suit case usually kept under the bed no longer there that she knew what happened. She drove Emma away.

Just the thought of it made her punch the shower door, which surprisingly didn't break. She sniffled and realized the water had gone ice cold, causing goose bumps all over her flesh. She stood up in the cold water, wiping her eyes. She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her body as she used another to dry her hair. She stood in front of the mirror on the wall above the sink and in one swift swipe; she wiped the fog from the mirror that had been caused by the shower steam. She looked at the reflection in the mirror, what seemed to be a shell of nothing more than a broken woman. Her short wet hair stuck to her neck and the sides of her face, her dark brown eyes blood shot as a reminder of her tears, and dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep.

She swiped again at the mirror, angrily, as if she thought she could erase what she had become. There was no more happiness in her life; the bitter sweet taste of real love was gone from her before she never got the chance to say those three special words to Emma. How hard was it to say those words? Harder than she ever would have expected. She felt it, she knew she did. She felt it in the small moments when Emma would be curled up beside her on the couch watching some boring movie while she herself lost her thoughts in a book; yet still smiled every time Emma would cuddle closer or kiss her shoulder without reason. She felt it in the mornings she woke up beside her, their limbs tangled in a mess of sweat and sheets. She could taste it in their kisses, she could feel it in their embraces, she could see it in Emma's eyes...she loved her.

She shook her head to shake the thought from her mind as she felt water drip from the ends of her hair. The water droplets rolled down her neck and she took a deep breath, she wasn't herself right now. She would give anything to get back to being herself but she didn't know which self she was trying to get back to; the powerful mayor, the evil queen, or the innocent girl she was when Daniel was around. She felt like that innocent girl more and more each day with Emma when things were good. But when the fights began again she felt her walls build back up around her heart.

The one thing Regina was wondering the most wasn't even why Emma left. She knew Emma had left because she had driven her away, or at least that is what she told herself. But what she wanted to know the most…was would she ever come back?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi Swan Queen shippers! Im so sorry that this update took forever, had been giving me trouble Dx But here it is, chapter 2 of Will She Ever Come Back?Are you excited? I hope you are! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter because it lets you see a bit into how Regina thinks, not just about Emma but about her life in general. I hope to begin work on chapter 3 soon but in the mean time please enjoy chapter 2! Please review! Once again I do NOT own Once Upon a Time, as much as I wish I did!**

Chapter 2

Regina sat on her front porch looking down into her cup of coffee, the mug keeping her hands warm as the cool breeze bit at her face. She stared into the still liquid as her mind began to wander, memories she wished were never true bubbling to the surface like blood rushing to an open wound. Crashing. Screaming. Crying.

"_You are so paranoid Emma!" Regina screamed, slamming her hands on the kitchen counter with her back to Emma. They were having another fight, one that had started over something simple but had blown into a full on screaming match. _

"_No Regina I'm not! You're at work far more than you should be, you never bother to even try to talk to me anymore and you haven't even tried to touch me in nearly four months! What am I supposed to think?" she shouted slamming her glass mug on the counter that had been filled with hot chocolate. _

"_For God's sake Emma I'm not cheating on you! I have a job that comes before your damn ego!" she shouted not bothering to turn around to yell at her. "And excuse me for not wanting to have sex with someone who is always accusing me of cheating!" she shouted. She knew Emma had to be doing something since she had responded to her and she all of the sudden heard a crash and covered her face. Emma had taken her mug full of hot chocolate and thrown it at the wall barely even a foot from Regina's head. _

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Regina screamed turning around to Emma. "Are you trying to kill me?" she screamed. Emma just stood there emotionless as if she didn't care that she could have almost killed Regina. "Well, explain yourself Ms. Swan!" she shouted. Emma stiffened at being set back to just Ms. Swan. _

"_Wow" she said like she was disappointed as she grabbed her keys and walked out the front door, slamming it. Regina bent down to clean up the mess Emma had made and looked up to find Henry in the door way, he had heard them. She sighed and stood up._

"_I'm sorry Henry" she said softly. He didn't say anything before he turned and ran back upstairs to his room. She closed her eyes and leaned on the counter, her life shattering just like the cup that had almost smashed into the back of her head._

"Regina?" she heard a voice, a male one. She looked up to see David standing before her, looking a bit concerned and confused. "Um…Emma sent me to get some things she forgot" he said, gesturing to her front door as if asking to be let into her home.

Regina simply stared at him, as if waiting for him to say it was just a joke and that Emma was waiting in the car. It was one thing if Emma left, but sending her father to get her things not only meant she didn't want to see Regina but it also meant she was really not coming back. Regina knew she would have to see Emma eventually, a day she both longed for and dreaded. They did share a son, and since Emma was the sheriff she worked closely with Regina sometimes; usually when it came to safety issues or public events. Regina didn't know what she would do when she had to see Emma again. Would she try to get her back? Would she act like the icy hearted woman she had been when she first met the blonde? In all honesty, even she didn't know.

When she realized that David was still standing there waiting to be let into her house, she sat down her cup of coffee on the porch and stood up with a sigh, not bothering to look him in the eye. She opened her front door and walked in, leaving it open so he knew he was allowed to follow. She headed up the stairs, assuming he would be a few steps behind her. She went straight to their bedroom and looked around for things Emma may have left behind. In her state of grief she hadn't really noticed it but a few of Emma's things really were still there. A pair of her old sneakers that she used to go running in were by the closet, her silver circle necklace was on the night stand, and her hair brush was on the bed side table. Regina walked over to the bedside table that had been on Emma's side of the bed and picked up the hair brush. There was a lamp on the table along with a small clock, nothing much else.

She opened the lone drawer under the table and looked at the things Emma kept in there. She had never actually looked in Emma's drawer before. In her own drawer on her side of the bed she had normal things like lotion, her phone charger, a nail file, hand sanitizer and a book that she would read before bed. In Emma's drawer she could see rather odd things, little stuff. Inside she found chap stick, loose tissues that were still unused, a pack of gum and then a picture at the bottom under the tissues.

She sat the brush down on the bed and picked up the picture, a tear rolling down her cheek. The picture was one of herself and Emma, Emma standing behind Regina. Regina had her head turned and was kissing Emma, Emma's arms wrapped around Regina's middle and the brunette's arms draped over the blondes. It was a photo that Henry had taken of them about a month after they became public with their relationship, when times were happier. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, remembering the sweet moment that she could never have back. She put the picture back and left the drawer open.

When she looked up she found David watching her, almost with a sense of pity or sympathy. Pity was the last thing she would ever want from Prince Charming. She pointed to the drawer as if to silently say that its contents belonged to Emma. She sat on the bed and felt the old hair brush roll against her leg. She picked it up and looked at the blonde strands that were coiled around the small teeth on the head of the brush. She vaguely was aware that David was in front of her, cleaning out the drawer of his daughter's things into a bag that looked like some sort of miniature duffel bag.

She suddenly felt warmth on her hand and realized he was slowly easing the brush out of her grip. She looked up at him to see a sorry look in his eyes. She nodded as if she was acknowledging his sympathy. She stood and grabbed Emma's things, throwing them on the bed so he could grab them. After a quick search of the room she also found an oversized white shirt that Emma sometimes slept in that practically looked like a dress on her. She held the shirt to her nose while David was grabbing things off the bed, it still smelt of Emma.

She didn't have the heart to let it go, not yet. She tucked it back where she had found it and pretended to have never seen it. After pulling out the last of Emma's things she looked out the window, as if she didn't want to see David leave with Emma's things. She heard him zip up the bag and she closed her eyes, she wouldn't dare cry near him ever again.

"Regina?" she heard him ask carefully. She made a small grunt of acknowledgment, as if to ask what he wanted. "Will you be alright?" he asked. Part of her wanted to ask why he cared, since he never used to care if she lived or died. In fact there was a time when his mission in life was to dance on her grave. But she didn't bother. She simply nodded, watching her sad brown eyes in her reflection in the window.

When she heard him leave she didn't move until she heard the front door close, watching him put the bag into the back of his truck before climbing in and driving away. It was then that she walked back over to where she had left Emma's night shirt, grabbing it and clutching it tightly in her hands. She sat on her bed and held it to her nose again, inhaling the sweet scent of Emma once more. It was a cross between her soap, her shampoo, and a smell that was just purely Emma; a scent no one else could ever claim.

As she slowly lay back on the bed she continued to breathe in the beautiful scent that reminded her of home. It didn't matter if she was in her house; ever since Emma left it wasn't home. In all honesty even before she ever met Emma, the large mansion never truly felt like home. It was in that moment she realized, surrounded by an empty house and drowning in the memories of love that was long since lost, that Emma _was_ her home.


End file.
